Thursday, October 29, 2009

Did I say that out loud?

Ever have one of those moments where your mouth speaks before your brain has a chance to process and censor? or you hit send instead of delete?

I call it PTS, Periodic Turrets Syndrome, because periodically I have outbursts that I could have controlled, but chose to ignore. My angel on one shoulder devil on the other spontaneously combusted after I had kids and left the discipline of the Corps, so now I have a little halo clad imp with protruding devil horns.

I find myself covering my mouth after saying something in reply to friends and family, questioning whether I really said what I was thinking or just thinking I said what I was thinking. Only after I see their reaction or hear their reply do I realize my dark side has found an escape hatch.

Do you have PTS?

Monday, October 26, 2009

Halloween's not over yet?

Every year we attend a friend's birthday bash that is aptly titled 'Texas Hold'em Massacre'. We play cards, drink and eat great food, enjoy the company of great friends, and best of all we dress up. It always falls the weekend before Halloween so after the preparation and anxiously waiting for the party we tend to forget that Halloween is still a week away!

A great Saturday of writing with my STARs at our annual retreat, the birthday bash that night, and day of recovery on Sunday, I realized today that I have yet to buy candy/goodies for this coming Saturday! *sigh* Are you sure Halloween's not over yet? I mean, there's Christmas decorations up already.

Today I got a little frustrated trudging to the store to buy candy. The small bags of the good stuff (M&Ms, Snickers, Reese's, etc.) were $2.50...SMALL is an understatement! The large bags were nearly $10 for roughly 40 pieces! Come on! Kids grab HANDFULS of candy, not one or two!

I was tempted to try the Dollar Tree to see if they might have the chintzy toys to add to the bowl. Instead I came home and got on here to rant. The price of holidays are too high. Everyday living has gotten too expensive. To add extra costs to our already tight budget for candy and toys that will end up getting thrown away in a few weeks is making me pull my hair out from the huge wast of time and money. I use to enjoy holidays, but I'm really becoming a Humbug.

Any ideas on inexpensive yet worthwhile Halloween treats is greatly appreciated! Mind you I work full-time, school for me and my boys, and have roughly 5 days. Any ideas???
Oh, and because I promised, here's a couple of pictures from the party:

And yes, my gay biker husband, a.k.a Sweet Cheeks, won the costume contest as well as the poker tourney ;-) How we're going to top this next year I have not idea.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Old Wives Tales

In modern society we may take for granted the old wives tales we hear. They are just sayings, right?

I have to admit, I'm a bit superstitious when it comes to some of them. For example, yesterday my right hand was itching. I told hubs and like a true man he replied, "Then scratch it." He gave me the 'you silly hick' look when I told him I couldn't. He knew what was coming; another southern saying that only us folks from the deep south understand.

The old wives tale about your hands itching goes something like this:

If the palm of your right hand is itchy, money will be coming your way. But, if you scratch the right hand while it is itchy, it’ll keep the money from coming.

If the left hand is itchy, you will be paying money to someone, and you should scratch away to do away with the payments.
Well, not to gloat (I'm gloating, gloating, gloating), but my right palm was itching last night. I explained the 'silly superstition' to hubs; endured his guffaws and disbelief. Not twenty minutes later, as I ran to the store to pick up a few things I also brought in our lotto tickets from the weekend before. Yep, I won $24.50! Not exactly the jackpot, but significant enough to prove my 'silly hick' point.

This sparked my curiosity at other old wives tales. There are quite a few that I've heard growing up. There are even more that I've never heard of until surfing the web last night. Here are some I found interesting and links following to take to you the longest flippin web domain I've ever seen! Check it out:


If you do not wish your soul to escape while sneezing you should place your hand over your mouth.

Be sure that someone says “God Bless you” when you sneeze to drive the devil away or he may enter your body.

Here are the old wives tales for every day of the week and the meaning of your sneeze:

  • Monday means danger.
  • Tuesday means you will kiss a stranger
  • Wednesday means you will receive a letter
  • Thursday means something better is coming
  • Friday means sorrow.
  • Saturday means you will see your love tomorrow.
  • Sunday means that the devil will be in control over you all week long.

Even how many times you sneeze in a row has meaning:

  • Sneeze once for sorrow.
  • Sneeze twice for joy.
  • Sneeze three times for a letter.
  • Sneeze four times for a boy.
  • Sneeze five times for silver.
  • Sneeze six times for gold.
  • Sneeze seven times for a secret that will never be told.

The old wives tale says that you should not tattoo the name of your lover on your skin, or the relationship is destined to fail.

DROPPING SILVERWARE: If you drop a spoon, a baby is coming/someone in your family is going to have a baby.

If you drop a fork, a woman is coming. When you drop a fork that means that a woman is coming to your door. It could be a friend, a family member, or even just a delivery person.

If you drop a knife, a man is coming. This is the same as for dropping a fork only it will be a man.

MONEY: If you always pick up burnt matches instead of leaving them laying you will find money.
When you peel onions, burn them and you will never by empty handed.

At the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve, while holding money in one hand, kneel and pray and you will have money the remaining of the year.

If you see a shooting star, say money, money, money and you will soon receive money.

If you see bubbles in the rain, you will receive a lot of money.

Wrap a penny in paper and carry it with you this will make sure you never go broke.

If you make money on Monday, keep it and the amount will increase during the remainder of the week.

Here's a couple of websites that have many more:

Old Wives Tales site 1

Old Wives Tales site 2

Old Wives Tales site 3

What are some old wives tales you've heard and/or believe?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Another Meaning

There are a lot of sayings that have pretty universal meanings, such as "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water" or "Don't count your chickens before the eggs hatch". We know that these mean "Don't jump the gun", I mean don't get ahead of yourself.
One such saying has taken on a literal meaning in my life. "Tan your hide", normally meaning a good butt whipping, now means Tanning Your Hide. Well, not YOUR hide, but my hubs' hide. Yes, you read that right, I have to tan my hubs bum/buttocks/rear end/derriere/etc. Let's just say his Halloween costume requires direct attention to his very white rear end.

The conversation we had while running errands earlier started with, "Maybe I should have you spray tan my ass," with a few bad puns thrown in, and a knowing that he will either have to sit the entire party or suffer the undoubtedly numerous gropings from our friends. The conversation ended with him saying, "Wow, I really have to take care of my ass this week." *roll eyes and groan here*

I had the butt whippings as a child, and figured someday my kids would drive me to "tanning their hides" (none so far), but I never thought I would literally be tanning my husband's hide.

What (if any) sayings have another meaning in your life?

Monday, October 12, 2009

A Loving Gift..and Bleeding Ears

I love the Santa Shop they have at school. My oldest gets some money every year to buy a little something for whomever he wants and every year he always buys me some form of jewelry.

My absolute favorite is the rhinestone tennis bracelet that he bought me in first grade. Second grade was a fabulous replica of the first rhinestone bracelet that met it's untimely demise when it fell apart and slipped off of my green wrist down the kitchen drain. Third grade was a different bracelet of linked silver stones with sweet words etched on them (i.e. believe, love, live, laugh, hope, etc.). Fourth grade (last year) he bought me yet another bracelet with a charm that says '#1 Mom' and a beautiful pair of difakeamond stud earrings.

Well, today I f0und I am a bit more sensitive to fake jewelry than I realized. It started this morning when I couldn't find one of my real gold studs, so I just grabbed the difakeamonds and put them in as I headed out to run errands. About a half hour later my ear started itching. I twisted the post and squeezed the back a little to loosen it away from my ear lobe. Another hour or so goes by and I start to feel it throbbing. Huh. So I take it out, rub my ear a little then put it back in. Shortly after this my other ear lobe starts itching. I go through basically the same scenario.

After wearing the difakeamonds for a day I had to take them out. No, I don't mean just take them out of my ears; I mean take them out ninja style with a one-two chop, quick twist to get them out of my ears. It was like pulling a bandaid off a hairy leg kind pain! At some point during the day the back of the earrings fused itself to my ear lobe. OUCH!

When the sting wore off I peeked at the damage and saw my tender little ear was bleeding. These too met thier untimely demise...this time the dog ate them. Don't hate! I really have them hidden away in my jewelry box! I love my son, and love the gifts he surprises me with every year, but if he gets me another pair of Chinese torture devices disguised as earrings I will just have to be sure hubs buys me a real pair that looks just like them. Yeah, that works for me!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Spiders, Poo, and Dead Squirrels, OH MY!

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up with a house full of men who: are scared of spiders, can't clean up dog puke/poop, and feels sorry for the steak they are about to consume.

This is the story of my life. A Daddy Longlegs (mouths are too small to bite humans) crawls out of the shower drain and my 11 year old tough guy runs screaming, "MOM!"

Our dogs gag on a frog/lizard/some other bug they ate, and pukes on the tile. My hubs runs screaming, "HON!"

This evening our dog, Nixon (Golden Retriever), finally catches the squirrel that often torments him from the pool screen. Hubs couldn't even walk over to check on the poor thing, let alone get Nixon away from him as he chomps on his little squirrel leg. He grabs Bam (our toddler) and comes in shaking his head saying, "Hon, I can't go over there." A look of worry and disgust on his face as I call 'the boys' inside.

Ugh *sigh*. I grab the dust pan and hand broom; trudge outside to the tree where the little guy was left to die. It's never a dull moment...he was gone. The little squirrel had played dead to get the dogs away. I waited a bit just to be sure he hadn't pulled himself under a bush in the yard, then let the dogs loose again. They searched high and low trying to find him, but the trail kept leading up the same tree he had missed earlier. Good for him!

So until the next spider, dog poop/puke, or caught squirrel, I'm off to relax with my Diet Dr. Pepper and Oreos.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

More Costume Ideas

The more I ponder a costume the more I come up with to choose from! Here are a few more ideas that can be added to the list:
  1. Fat B***ard and Skinny B**ch (couples): either the guy or girl wears the blow up suit (like the sumo wrestler costume) with a kilt--this costume is available online and hilarious--and the other wears a tighter version of a kilt and Scottish accessories.
  2. Bed of Roses: attach fake roses all over a bed sheet, drape it around you like a toga, carry or attach a small pillow to the costume.
  3. Goldie Locks: wear all black, get the little gold locks and hang all over the outfit; a blond wig may help with hinting at what you are dressed as.
  4. Book Worm: use two or three sheets of poster board to fold in half (like a book--be really creative and write on it or paste magazine pages), wear a solid color as to not distract from the 'book', wear big fake reading glasses.
  5. Invisible Woman: (very easy) buy a sheet of cammie netting; when people ask what you are dressed as, wrap it around you so they can't see you.

Still waiting on suggestions! Happy Halloween Costume Hunting!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Sissi's Costume Ideas: first 20

As promised, here is a list of twenty costume ideas I have yet to find on any costume site. I have three or four faves that I need to choose from for the Texas Hold'em Massacre. Take a gander at them and vote on what you like:
  1. Roasted Marshmallow: Big white t-shirt, stuff it with pillows or foam fabric, spray paint brown/black flame marks on it, wear brown tights; you can also use a wooden dowel or real stick to put in the back.
  2. Jail Bait: jail house stripes (dress/shirt & pants) and fish hooks/etc. on a fishing hat.
  3. Calendar Girl: Get a calendar and pin the different months all over a shirt and pants.
  4. English muffin: Wear a size too small jeans so you have a muffin top, get a plain t-shirt and use a paint pen to color a British flag on it, and talk with a British accent. :-)
  5. Party Animal: any dog/cat/bear/etc. mask, a toga, a beer mug.
  6. Hula Chic: wear a grass skirt and lei with a hula hoop around you
  7. Beewitched: (duh) bee costume with a witch hat.
  8. Physical: (ode to Olivia Newton John) leotard with leg warmers, belted waist, and 80’s hair with head band.
  9. Diet Dr. Pepper: scrubs, face mask, slim fast (any diet bar) pinned to scrubs, chili peppers (necklace/or pinned to scrubs), optional stethoscope (did this one in 2006)
  10. Afro-American: Afro wig with Indian costume (did this one in 2008)
  11. Archangel: angel costume with golden arches (McDonald’s anything)
  12. Fallen/Broken Angel: angel wings, bandages/crutches/brace/etc.
  13. Blackberry: wear all black, use any type of plastic berries (paint them black) and hang on costume or as necklace, use pipe cleaners to make antenna for head.
  14. Redheaded Step-child: (for Rayna) red wig, plastic step stool to carry/hang, and a pacifier.
  15. Ying Yang (couples idea): one wears black sheet with white dot painted on it, the other a white sheet with a black dot. (Did this for Bobbie and Erin one year!)
  16. Faux Pas: Any sweatshirt/t-shirt will do, just add fake fur in the shape of a paw (get it, paw/pas…)
  17. Teepee’d: Wrap yourself in toilet paper, add face paint like a Native American and a feather headband for comical accessories.
  18. “Yoga”: dress in yoga gear with a Yoda mask (this was funnier when I first thought of it).
  19. Voodoo Doll: wrap up in a sheet/toilet paper/ace bandages, and then stick Styrofoam balls with pipe cleaners to look like large pins; Use face paint for effect. You can draw a heart on the chest and label other body parts to stick.
  20. Fat Tuesday: Instead of Wednesday Adams…wear a Goth outfit with the dark makeup, a black Mardi Gras mask, and stuff it for padding unless your like me and can pull it off as pleasantly plump :-)

Last year's winner was the hostess with an awesome Smurfette costume (blue from head to toe!), and in 2007 I was conveniently eight months pregnant, taking the title for a last chance to pull this costume off: Magic 8 Ball

Top hat and accessories $7, Paint for belly, $2, eight months pregnant to pull it off...lifetime of trying to out do this blasted costume!

Being Neglectful

I've been neglectful. My blog has been dormant this week. I'm working on a post for costume ideas as a friend's annual Texas Hold'em Massacre party is right around the corner. In order to play I must be wearing a costume; not to mention there is a prize for best costume at the end of the night. So stay tuned....