Monday, June 16, 2008

Senoirity "Rules"

There seems to be a misconception at work that whomever has been here the longest has more seniority. Not true. There also seems to be a misconception that if the person is higher on the totem pole then they are right. This too is untrue. There are rules that we all must abide by, regardless of time served or title. Lately, both managers and long-time employees have been taking it upon themselves to make decisions for this company that, quite frankly, are none of their G#%D@mn business. We have procedures that must be followed, and we have people in positions to do certain jobs that do not require outbursts from the 'peanut gallery'. I'll write more about our 'peanut gallery' at a later time as I am still ranting on this first issue.

There is another misconception that when we emphasize communication and teamwork it does not mean everyone needs to know everyone else's business. In a recent email from the 'powers that be'(I'll discuss them later also) there was a wonderful new way to communicate. Below is a list of INSTEAD OF and TRY SAYING that have become quite useful. A big thanks to one of the Powers That Be for this.

Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck your doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's and aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a fucking bitch.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way!

Number 5
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die!

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with that?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass!

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuck it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF : Shove it up your ass!

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This fucking job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the fuck died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.

Number 19
TRY SAYING: I'm not at liberty to discuss that information.
INSTEAD OF: It's none of your fucking business!

Number 20
TRY SAYING: I'll get back to you on this.
INSTEAD OF: Leave me the fuck alone!

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