Saturday, May 31, 2008

When I Write

Lately, I have less and less time for "me". When I say "me time", I'm not referring to getting my nails done, or hitting the tanning salon. Hell, I haven't done anything like that in quite a while. The "me time" I'm referring to is my writing. It seems every time I turn around we are running our oldest son here and there, or my husband is working late, or has made plans to hang with friends, or I'm working late, or the little one just wants me! I've typed one-handed many a time, but it's not easy when your thoughts are going faster than your hands. My husband has tried sitting with the boys to give me quiet time, but I get irritated easily when all I hear is the sliding door opening and closing, or my oldest yelling at a video game, and the dogs start rough-housing while the youngest yells for me. When do I have time to write?!

Come to find out I have Chronic Onset Insomnia-meaning I have a very hard time falling asleep, if I sleep at all. This has been ongoing since my childhood according to my mother, but back then we called it another name...the boogie monster. Now that I'm older with children of my own I find that the 'boogie monster' is indeed real. Just not in the form of a scary monster hiding under my bed or in my closet. No, my monsters are in my head. They stem from experiences I've had and from everyday life. They have names: Bills, Health, Kids, Marriage, Work, Inflation, Clowns, etc. These monsters aren't always scary, but they are always on my mind and often the cause of it racing late into the night. The only way to get my mind to slow down is to put my thoughts on paper...or screen I should say.

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