Monday, October 28, 2013
Texas Hold'em Massacre 2013
The 7th annual Texas Hold'em Massacre was full of fun and friends. Here's a preview of the costumes from this year. Happy Halloween!
Monday, October 21, 2013
COSTUMES!
It's that time of year! With Halloween just around the corner it's countdown to this year's costume choice for the annual Texas Hold'em Massacre.
A quick preview of costumes past:
1. Magic 8 Ball: 8 months prego with nothing that fits other than yoga pants and sports bras. Cheap black and white face paint for the belly 8 ball, a top hat and magic wand with a little bag of answers.
2. Afro-American: Native American Indian outfit with an Afro and braids.
3. Fallen Angel: hand-sewn bodice and skirt over a tutu with wings, crutches, arm and leg brace (hence 'fallen').
4. Edwina Scissor Hands: mostly store bought with the scissor gloves and dress, added the tutu/boots/ripped hose, and crazy wig. A tattoo scar across the face/lips made the makeup.
5. Zombie Happy Bunny: Bunny ears, zombie makeup, pajama footies with a bunny tail, smart-alec t-shirt.
And this year's contenders:
1. Goldie Locks: blonde curly hair, black dress w/gold locks all over it.
2. Diet Dr. Pepper: scrubs, stethoscope, chili peppers and slim fast bars attached to the scrubs. (done a previous year, but not for the Massacre).
3. Teepee'd: Wrap up in toilet paper, add warrior paint and a feather headdress for accessories.
4. Calendar Girl: any outfit will do with calendars pinned to it. Oh, and it helps if you're a girl or you could just pad a bra and add a wig ;-)
5. Altophobia (fear of heights): Play on words here, where a music symbol for alto and carry a stool so when asked what you are dressed as you can stand on the stool looking down scared...okay, it's geek humor, get with it.
6. Coulrophobia (fear of clowns): Dress up as an evil clown. This is funnier for everyone else that has to look at you and you realize how many people are terrified of clowns.
7. Boxed Wine: Boxing gloves, cardboard box decorated like a fine red or favorite white Zinfandel, black-eye makeup.
8. Boxed Wine II: Boxing gloves, purple balloons/some deflated attached to a shirt, black-eye makeup.
9. Little Red Riding Hood: Red hoodie and talk gangster. Seriously, so stupid it's funny.
10. Runaway Bride: (as seen before) Running shoes/shorts, bridal veil and white gloves. Add accessories like a water bottle and bouquet.
11. Energizer Bunny: Pink-all-over outfit with a bunny tail and ears, dark glasses, any big popcorn tin / drum strapped around the neck or shoulders, two big cardboard rolls on the back painted to look like batteries.
12. Mr. "Tea": Any type of tea bags and pin them together like a necklace, the signature mohawk, and a tea cup.
13. Vampire Cullen style: Vampire teeth, white face paint, add glitter spray for the sparkle effect in sunlight.
14. Miss America: Dress as Captain America but add a pageant crown and sash.
15. Here's Johnny!: Red shirt, crazy Jack Nicholson eyebrows and smile, poke the face through an axed cabinet door. Classic Shining.
That's all I've got this year. If you come up with any ideas please post them in the comments. Most important, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Fallen Angel and 'Sweet Cheeks'
A quick preview of costumes past:
1. Magic 8 Ball: 8 months prego with nothing that fits other than yoga pants and sports bras. Cheap black and white face paint for the belly 8 ball, a top hat and magic wand with a little bag of answers.
2. Afro-American: Native American Indian outfit with an Afro and braids.
3. Fallen Angel: hand-sewn bodice and skirt over a tutu with wings, crutches, arm and leg brace (hence 'fallen').
4. Edwina Scissor Hands: mostly store bought with the scissor gloves and dress, added the tutu/boots/ripped hose, and crazy wig. A tattoo scar across the face/lips made the makeup.
5. Zombie Happy Bunny: Bunny ears, zombie makeup, pajama footies with a bunny tail, smart-alec t-shirt.
And this year's contenders:
1. Goldie Locks: blonde curly hair, black dress w/gold locks all over it.
2. Diet Dr. Pepper: scrubs, stethoscope, chili peppers and slim fast bars attached to the scrubs. (done a previous year, but not for the Massacre).
3. Teepee'd: Wrap up in toilet paper, add warrior paint and a feather headdress for accessories.
4. Calendar Girl: any outfit will do with calendars pinned to it. Oh, and it helps if you're a girl or you could just pad a bra and add a wig ;-)
5. Altophobia (fear of heights): Play on words here, where a music symbol for alto and carry a stool so when asked what you are dressed as you can stand on the stool looking down scared...okay, it's geek humor, get with it.
6. Coulrophobia (fear of clowns): Dress up as an evil clown. This is funnier for everyone else that has to look at you and you realize how many people are terrified of clowns.
7. Boxed Wine: Boxing gloves, cardboard box decorated like a fine red or favorite white Zinfandel, black-eye makeup.
8. Boxed Wine II: Boxing gloves, purple balloons/some deflated attached to a shirt, black-eye makeup.
9. Little Red Riding Hood: Red hoodie and talk gangster. Seriously, so stupid it's funny.
10. Runaway Bride: (as seen before) Running shoes/shorts, bridal veil and white gloves. Add accessories like a water bottle and bouquet.
11. Energizer Bunny: Pink-all-over outfit with a bunny tail and ears, dark glasses, any big popcorn tin / drum strapped around the neck or shoulders, two big cardboard rolls on the back painted to look like batteries.
12. Mr. "Tea": Any type of tea bags and pin them together like a necklace, the signature mohawk, and a tea cup.
13. Vampire Cullen style: Vampire teeth, white face paint, add glitter spray for the sparkle effect in sunlight.
14. Miss America: Dress as Captain America but add a pageant crown and sash.
15. Here's Johnny!: Red shirt, crazy Jack Nicholson eyebrows and smile, poke the face through an axed cabinet door. Classic Shining.
That's all I've got this year. If you come up with any ideas please post them in the comments. Most important, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Edwina Scissor Hands
Fallen Angel and 'Sweet Cheeks'
Never going to beat the 'Magic 8 Ball'
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Guardian Angel...you're fired.
Everyone is going through rough times with all the BS right now, but damn...enough already.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Letter To My Son: Happy Birthday
Dear Anthony,
It's hard to imagine you being the little football-sized baby I held in my arms fifteen years ago. Today we celebrate you, and as a 6' 00" 220+ lb teenager that's a lot to celebrate! Many teenage guys your age are struggling with pressures of wanting to do adult things, and still wanting to be a kid where mom and dad handle the hard decisions. You're starting to find a balance with this. We braced ourselves over the past few years dealing with some of the choices you made which taught you a hard lesson. Through this we all grew as a family. I believe it's also made your dad and I grow as parents, and you as an individual. We are very proud of you.
No matter what gifts you get, money you receive, or birthday wish you make, remember the most important gift of all is that we gave you life. And by bringing you into this world, investing time, food, shelter, clothing, and imparting our wisdom, we expect a little bit in return. We expect you to make mistakes and learn from them. We expect you to try harder when everyone else gives up. We expect you to respect yourself and others, mind your manners. We expect you to look to the future while appreciating the here and now. We expect you to love us, faults and all, as much as we love you.
I know you will exceed these expectations.
To remember today's shenanigans here's a little recap of how you started your fifteenth birthday:
Sixty balloons, a Halloween prop, and a laptop at 1:30 a.m. Setting up our oldest son's birthday surprise. He gets a new laptop and we get the entertainment of scaring the crap out of him when he takes his morning shower.
Happy 15th Birthday, Ant!
It's hard to imagine you being the little football-sized baby I held in my arms fifteen years ago. Today we celebrate you, and as a 6' 00" 220+ lb teenager that's a lot to celebrate! Many teenage guys your age are struggling with pressures of wanting to do adult things, and still wanting to be a kid where mom and dad handle the hard decisions. You're starting to find a balance with this. We braced ourselves over the past few years dealing with some of the choices you made which taught you a hard lesson. Through this we all grew as a family. I believe it's also made your dad and I grow as parents, and you as an individual. We are very proud of you.
No matter what gifts you get, money you receive, or birthday wish you make, remember the most important gift of all is that we gave you life. And by bringing you into this world, investing time, food, shelter, clothing, and imparting our wisdom, we expect a little bit in return. We expect you to make mistakes and learn from them. We expect you to try harder when everyone else gives up. We expect you to respect yourself and others, mind your manners. We expect you to look to the future while appreciating the here and now. We expect you to love us, faults and all, as much as we love you.
I know you will exceed these expectations.
To remember today's shenanigans here's a little recap of how you started your fifteenth birthday:
Sixty balloons, a Halloween prop, and a laptop at 1:30 a.m. Setting up our oldest son's birthday surprise. He gets a new laptop and we get the entertainment of scaring the crap out of him when he takes his morning shower.
Happy 15th Birthday, Ant!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
God Help Us
"Too many Americans go to too many prisons for far too long, and for no truly good law enforcement reason," Attorney General Eric Holder.
Oh you better believe I'm gonna rant about the AG's latest punch to the American justice system. I sincerely hope my readers weigh in on the topic also. It's hard for me to accept that our country, my fellow Americans, have become so lackadaisical in their morals and societal beliefs that we not only pacify and coddle our children, now we are doing the same damn thing to adults. The 'truly good law enforcement reason' is because it's the law. Law enforcement enforce the laws that you pansies up there in the Capitol make, even though none of you follow them because you think you're above it.
"...nonviolent drug offenders who have no ties to large-scale organizations, gangs or cartels will no longer be charged with offenses that impose draconian mandatory minimum sentences."
I see what he did there...'no ties to LARGE-SCALE organizations, gangs or cartels'. Because LARGE-SCALE never start out small? Get a clue, Mr. Holder. Portraying nonviolent drug offenders as misunderstood pot heads show you have no idea what the system you are suppose to be in charge of is designed to do. Before the whiners and crybabies on Capitol Hill and in Hollywood start protesting for this, let's take a look at why the mandatory minimum sentences seem 'draconian'. It's because the nonviolent drug offenders are repeat offenders. The very hand that feeds them is the same hand they bite, over and over and over. The government has lined its pockets at the expense of drug abuser/users/offenders for years through the pharmaceutical companies and pill mill doctors. It's oddly similar to minimizing the stigma of DUIs (so many government officials have been charged with it!).
"Prosecutors would do this by omitting from official charging documents the amount of drugs involved in a case, lawyers with expertise in criminal law said. By doing so, prosecutors would ensure that nonviolent defendants without significant criminal history would not get long sentences."
The nonviolent drug offenders are the smugglers who drive from the legalized states with vacuum-sealed bags of marijuana just under trafficking amounts (25 lbs), or run the grow houses in prominent neighborhoods that your kids pass every day. They are the nonviolent offenders with no remorse who sell it to kids. Nonviolent is irrelevant when you look at the big picture and see, truly see, the ramifications. Violent drug offenders start out non-violent, just as LARGE-SCALE starts out small. And the nonviolent defendants without significant criminal history is left wide open to interpretation unless they have NO criminal history.
I have a great idea. All these government jackwaggons who think the laws are too tough for these nonviolent offenders, come out for a ride along with your local law enforcement and see who has it tougher. People bitch and moan "where's a cop when you need one?" They're doing their job with minimal support from their government to carry through after they enforce the very laws their government made. Long hours, family sacrifices, minimal manpower, low pay, and lucky to get suitable gear, but they're doing their job.
"By reserving the most severe penalties for serious, high-level or violent drug traffickers, we can better promote public safety, deterrence and rehabilitation, while making our expenditures smarter and more productive," Holder said.
Before you know it the nonviolent offenders of any crime will follow suit with lessening the minimum mandatory sentencing. All to save a buck--Obama Care much? This does not promote public safety. It promotes stupidity and allows offenders to shirk their responsibility to abide by the law. You're proposal sucks, Mr. Holder.
For a full read of the purpose of above rant go to: http://news.yahoo.com/top-u-lawman-outline-drug-offender-sentencing-proposal-040126447.html
Oh you better believe I'm gonna rant about the AG's latest punch to the American justice system. I sincerely hope my readers weigh in on the topic also. It's hard for me to accept that our country, my fellow Americans, have become so lackadaisical in their morals and societal beliefs that we not only pacify and coddle our children, now we are doing the same damn thing to adults. The 'truly good law enforcement reason' is because it's the law. Law enforcement enforce the laws that you pansies up there in the Capitol make, even though none of you follow them because you think you're above it.
"...nonviolent drug offenders who have no ties to large-scale organizations, gangs or cartels will no longer be charged with offenses that impose draconian mandatory minimum sentences."
I see what he did there...'no ties to LARGE-SCALE organizations, gangs or cartels'. Because LARGE-SCALE never start out small? Get a clue, Mr. Holder. Portraying nonviolent drug offenders as misunderstood pot heads show you have no idea what the system you are suppose to be in charge of is designed to do. Before the whiners and crybabies on Capitol Hill and in Hollywood start protesting for this, let's take a look at why the mandatory minimum sentences seem 'draconian'. It's because the nonviolent drug offenders are repeat offenders. The very hand that feeds them is the same hand they bite, over and over and over. The government has lined its pockets at the expense of drug abuser/users/offenders for years through the pharmaceutical companies and pill mill doctors. It's oddly similar to minimizing the stigma of DUIs (so many government officials have been charged with it!).
"Prosecutors would do this by omitting from official charging documents the amount of drugs involved in a case, lawyers with expertise in criminal law said. By doing so, prosecutors would ensure that nonviolent defendants without significant criminal history would not get long sentences."
The nonviolent drug offenders are the smugglers who drive from the legalized states with vacuum-sealed bags of marijuana just under trafficking amounts (25 lbs), or run the grow houses in prominent neighborhoods that your kids pass every day. They are the nonviolent offenders with no remorse who sell it to kids. Nonviolent is irrelevant when you look at the big picture and see, truly see, the ramifications. Violent drug offenders start out non-violent, just as LARGE-SCALE starts out small. And the nonviolent defendants without significant criminal history is left wide open to interpretation unless they have NO criminal history.
I have a great idea. All these government jackwaggons who think the laws are too tough for these nonviolent offenders, come out for a ride along with your local law enforcement and see who has it tougher. People bitch and moan "where's a cop when you need one?" They're doing their job with minimal support from their government to carry through after they enforce the very laws their government made. Long hours, family sacrifices, minimal manpower, low pay, and lucky to get suitable gear, but they're doing their job.
"By reserving the most severe penalties for serious, high-level or violent drug traffickers, we can better promote public safety, deterrence and rehabilitation, while making our expenditures smarter and more productive," Holder said.
Before you know it the nonviolent offenders of any crime will follow suit with lessening the minimum mandatory sentencing. All to save a buck--Obama Care much? This does not promote public safety. It promotes stupidity and allows offenders to shirk their responsibility to abide by the law. You're proposal sucks, Mr. Holder.
For a full read of the purpose of above rant go to: http://news.yahoo.com/top-u-lawman-outline-drug-offender-sentencing-proposal-040126447.html
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